Telling your grown-up children
Key facts
| Should you tell them? | Yes. It reduces confusion and helps everyone stay respectful |
|---|---|
| How | Each child on their own, planned ahead |
| Introductions | Only when the relationship feels right |
| A common worry | Losing their place in your life |
Your children may be grown, but news of a new relationship can still surprise them. A little planning helps. So does patience.
Let them know you're dating
AARP suggests telling your children, of any age, that you're dating. It reduces confusion and helps everyone stay respectful. You don't have to introduce every date.
Source: AARP: Smart Guide to Dating Over 50, checked 8 November 2026
Talk to each child on their own
Relate suggests talking to each child individually and planning the conversation so it isn't a surprise. Make sure they feel heard, as well as sharing how you feel. Changes to a will can be a sore point, so be open about it.
Source: Relate: Second marriage, checked 8 November 2026
Give them time to adjust
Age UK notes that family may react in ways you don't expect. Give them time. Reassure them that they're still important in your life.
Source: Age UK: Dating in later life, checked 8 November 2026
Questions
What if my children don't like my new partner?
Listen to their worries and give it time. Sometimes the worry is about change, not the person. Keep talking.
When should they meet my partner?
When the relationship feels settled to you. There's no set point. A relaxed, short first meeting often works best.
Do I need my children's permission to date?
No. It's your life. Telling them kindly and early just makes things easier for everyone.